His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
