Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
