I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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