Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
