I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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