She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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