fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
