so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
