This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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