Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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