I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
