I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
