whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
