I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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