once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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