I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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