Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
