I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am naked and annoyed.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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