My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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