we're blogging at a bar
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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