Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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