But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
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So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When did angry sex become our thing?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..