dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.