Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high