i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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