why didn't you poke me back
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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