two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
