I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize