**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
