Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
