It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
