Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
