I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
