you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
