Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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