just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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