i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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