Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
