I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
