i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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