Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
