apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
