i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
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SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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