I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
