Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
