Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
