i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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