found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
