I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
