dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
