I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
