I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
