She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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