Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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