My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
