Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
