We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
