i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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