I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
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I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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