I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
